Gaza's Lost Memories

by Najwa Sheikh

Gaza, August 11, 2009 (Pal Telegraph) - Another hidden but very painful part of the Palestinian sufferings is the story of families scattered around the world, many of whom have settled in different countries, after they fled in 1948. They have different lives and lost many of their childhood memories.

Childhood memories are the events and experiences lived with our sisters and brothers. They are the special moments in time that one cannot ignore or forget; they are experiences bound by the ties of brotherhood. The memories shared with my brothers and sisters are for us, which as a family we ordinarily would enjoy recalling and reliving. Recollection of the dear memories of our childhood would be possible if we were not separated by such a distance.

My own relatives are scattered across Saudi Arabia, Libya and Lebanon. Neither my parents nor I know anything about their children or lives, how they look, or the type of life they live. There are, however, rare telephone calls from time to time.

A week ago my mother-in-law received the news that one of her brothers died in Kuwait. I was surprised of course because it was the first time I had heard of him. It seems that he, like many other Palestinians who have left long ago, made his life outside of Gaza and lost connection with his roots. My mother-in-law, though not remembering his image, was very sad to receive this news, wishing she had the chance to share with him again the old childhood memories. She longed for not being able to know him better or to see face after 70 years. My mother-in-law wished for being to make fun and tease, as brothers and sisters do irrespective of age, once more.

The same story can be told of my other family members. Separation of physical distance and the loss of contact has only brought more pain and suffering. The saddest part of this that our old memories have faded and our present life is filled with no memory or shared experiences that come with families who age together.

I remember when my uncle passed away five years ago, who I had never met or talked with, there was no feelings of sadness or sense of loss. It is not that my heart is made of stone. I had not one single memory with or even an image in my mind of my uncle. Will my brothers children living abroad also feel the same?

I have two brothers living outside of Gaza. They are married and have children. Even though we talk on the phone, there are no memories to share. I cannot say anything about their hobbies; what they like or dislike; or choose gifts because of not knowing their favorite colors or the toys they like most. They too cannot say anything about me, their other aunts, or grandparents. My brothers' children will feel the same as I felt for when my uncle departed this world.

As time fades away and age descends, I too will forget the image of my brothers as my mother did when my uncle passed away. I too will not be able to laugh, tease and make fun of them as they grow old with age. One day I too will receive similar news that my father and my in-laws received. Will I grieve, cry, able to share our childhood memories or my sadness be kept inside? The physical distance only increases the suffering of all Palestinian families living apart.

Najwa Sheikh
A Palestinian PT special writer living in the Gaza Strip